The Tales and Rants of Odellia Firebird

  • Stay Positive, November 23, 2022
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    There is a lot of noise out there that might set you astray from your path. God knows I am not above getting hurt by stupid comments out there because they make themselves heard a lot more than those who appreciate you.

    It's a fact of life. People who like you, will forget to say it out loud. They figure out that you know this or it simply won't come up in conversation. So if anyone tells you "you're awesome", make sure they know you appreciate them because you don't want to lose those friendships.

    I look up sometimes what people say about me and my writing online. The bad usually stands out more. It's probably why fake news is so easy for most people to believe. Somehow it's in people's nature to believe the awful rather than the positive. So people will give more attention to the negative comments, contributing to this nasty circle. If people didn't give that much attention to the negative, people wouldn't write these things as much right? Much like bullies, these people thrive on attention and getting a reaction out of others.

    That's why you have to choose to focus on the positive, in the same way you have to choose to be happy. It's choosing to see the good that you have rather than the bad.
  • Beauty is Confidence, March 6, 2019
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    Unless you have a carrot instead of a nose, beauty is perception. You'll have beautiful women passing under the radar while others, less attractive ones, will be seen surrounded in awe by people.

    I remember one of my first bosses. She was short, stout, and square like a dwarf. But she was the life of the party! She puffed up her chest as her mouth boomed with confidence. As little or typically unattractive as she was, she didn't give a damn and neither did anyone else. She was the lead producer for a series her company was trying to launch and did not go around corners when it came to getting things done. And that's why everybody loved her.

    Women who aren't afraid of their looks, exhume confidence and people will perceive them as "

    If women want people to pay attention to who they are rather than focus on what they look like, they need to stop giving so much importance to their looks in the first place.

    Women will hate me for saying this, but if you spend 3 hours on "making yourself look good", and 2 hours on a presentation, what are you telling the people around you? Unless your appearance is part of your money bread, there is no reason for this. If you work as a nurse, or as a financial advisor, or a lawyer, your $300 eye cream will do nothing for you. Your work values you for the results you bring. 

    Even if you are a court facing lawyer, where you have to look clean and kept, spending more than 15m on your morning regiment will gain you very little, except dating value. And do you really want to pick up guys at the office? If your answer is "Yes", then your work priorities are screwed up and no one will respect you for what you bring to the company. which is what you are paid for. And if you're there as a "Pretty Face", don't expect equal pay. 

    Now, as mentioned above, I do acknowledge the dating value in spending more time on your looks, but that said, there is a downside on this. If you need so much fixing up before you go on a date, are you really surprise your date isn't that into you when you wake up without your "face on"? Or your spouse isn't attracted to you while you're pregnant? 

    Going back to my original argument, "Confidence is Beauty", if you take as example a "Bee Queen". It's not just her clothes and makeup that makes her a "Queen", it's the fact that she doesn't give a ** about anyone or anything and isn't afraid of being herself in all her glory. The makeup and the clothes may help you boost your confidence, but it's your confidence that will establish your power. 

    Listen to what I just said:

    Your Confidence will establish your Power 

    Not your appearance. If clothes and makeup gives you a boost in confidence, it's psychological. It's taking a shortcut. Just like drugs boosting mood, it may work for a time, but the effects will wear off. Real self-confidence will stick with you no matter what. (This is how shopping can become an addiction for some.) So if you focus on what's inside of you, on your voice, and on knowing who you are, you won't need all that crap. 

    Just remember, I'm not telling you you can dress like a hobo if you have enough self-confidence. You need a minimum of grooming (be clean and wear clothes that fit). Make sure that your clothes do not tarnish your confidence either, but rather reflect it, and not the other way around. That's the healthy way. 

    Imagine how much time and money you will save!

  • 5 Things they Don't Want You to Know About Weddings, November 22nd, 2017
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    1. Wedding = Happy Ever After
    With the divorce rate, we all know it's not true. Despite culture dictating you need to get married, marriage won't change your state of mind.  Either you're happy with who you are, the way you are, and where you've gone in life, or you not. Getting married won't change a thing. Many of us make the mistake in looking to other people before looking at yourselves, in our such of happiness. The only one responsible for your own happiness is yourself.
    2. It's the Best day of your Life!
    I'm sorry, what? You've published a book series, wrote and directed movies, maybe got an Emmy or found the cure to some disease, and your wedding tops all of this? It's just a big party. If you're not already happy with the person you're with, a wedding, party, and signed contract, won't change a thing. People don't become better after tying the knot, they become worse because they're no longer afraid of showing you who they are.
    3. The More You Spend the more Happily Ever After you'll Get!
    The wedding Industry wants you to believe that because the more you spend, the more they can fill their bank accounts.  A haircut, makeup session suddenly triple price just because they add the words 'wedding' and 'bride' to it!  So, is it really going to make you feel happier when your wallet is sucked dry just because it's your wedding?

    It will only bring trouble as you both struggle to pay wedding bills instead of putting a down payment on that house you always wanted.  Save, save SAVE! Instead of spending all your money away. As money from your guests instead of useless gifts from the wedding gift shop that you will probably dump a year from now.

    Create a "GoFundMe" event to finance your wedding instead of letting your friends get you stuff you will have to re-gift or dump out of embarrassment.  And if you play it smart, going to the hairdresser while omitting you're the one getting married, you might save enough to start on that house down payment. Remember, all your guests will remember is the food and music. The rest is superfluous!
    4. You Look So Radiant! You'll Look Your Absolute Best on Your Wedding
    You know how many photos of brides I saw without smiles when I shopping for a wedding photographer?  I challenge you to find more than one on five.  The truth is, you're unlikely going to enjoy your wedding. The stress of organizing a wedding is tremendous. You'll have your family nagging you and pulling you in different directions all day. And even if you're not the one organizing your wedding, you'll go insane listening to those who are, running after the different people who are supposed to deliver things to your wedding.  From the flowers to the person holding the ceremony, someone or everyone will be late or missing something. Just like movie productions, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.  So, less is better. The less extravagant the day, the less hassles you'll get.

    Then, you have the 500 guests coming from both sides of the family.  Let's say a wedding is 6h long. Calculate how much time you'll spend with each of your guests. You won't have time for yourself, so if you think a wedding is about you, stop right there!  A wedding is a circus and parade of relatives you never saw and will probably never see again. So, if you have a choice, small is better.

    So while you stress to get from point A to B at your wedding, you won't have time to feel happy or enjoy the event. That's why most people don't remember it. Or very little of it.  So, looking radiant? Maybe if the makeup is right, but it won't hide the fact that you're not smiling because you're busy worried about everything, including if you're making the right choice.
    5. You Need to Book a Hotel Room and a Honeymoon Right Away!
    After all your guests are gone and it's time to clean up.  Even if it's just packing the leftovers, dividing it among close family and finding some room in your fridge, it's going to be a long night.  After undressing, removing the makeup and undoing your hair, it's probably going to be 3-4am. So, do you really want to go to a hotel room where you'll have to leave before noon? Save your money, go home, and sleep the day off.

    And if you thought the wedding was a headache, why do you want to add a vacation right away?  Take a deep breath, take a few days off, recuperate from your own wedding, and then you can figure out when and where you want to have your honeymoon. Unless you're religious and marrying a virgin, there's no reason to rush into this.  I took mine 7 months after. We planned it with a clear head and really enjoyed it.

    You're going to be married for life. At least, you plan it that way. So why the rush? You have a lifetime of honeymooning ahead. So, just like the cake, you don't have to eat it all at once. Less headaches, less marital issues. Take it easy. Life is good.

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